Janie and Doris had a rough start alone in life, but God’s introduction of Alex Bogie into their lives made a difference. He was quiet and kind. He spoke only when it was necessary but with wisdom. After the family trusted Christ as Savior their lives began a mighty transformation that Doris said she could feel.
They attended a little church near the Cape Fear River where they lived and where Alex managed a southern rice plantation. Orton Plantation was a tourist destination with a big southern home planted in the center of the property. The family stayed in a home not far from the big house. A screened porch gave a view of the river and became a resting place where a cool breeze would introduce relief from the Carolina afternoon heat.
Doris joined a girls group at church and memorized scripture with her mother’s encouragement. She loved the feeling of having sisters. Doris eventually met a young Coast Guard cook who became a highway patrolman. It may have been love at first sight for TA, as Doris was a beauty. Eventually they married and a year later my husband, Dana, was born. In each town they lived, they joined a church; and Doris gravitated to a ladies’ class that once again gave her the sisters she never had. Communities shaped their family and life.
Janie and Alex loved their three grandchildren. Orton was the family gathering place for Christmas or Easter. The men would hunt deer, rabbit and squirrel. The grandchildren could roam the acres of woodlands. It was here they learned to hunt and fish, to drive and swim. When azaleas were in bloom, tourists would converge, wanting to see the gorgeous display of blossoms. For a meager cost, they could roam the designated area of the property. Scroll gardens, lookout perches, ponds and rivers teemed with life and color and the reminder of days gone by. This was the plantation chosen during the Civil War as a neutral hospital zone used by both sides for treating all war casualties. A little Chapel on the property once used weekly, now stands quiet. Stepping inside feels like a moment back in time. It was an idyllic place for Doris and then for her family to enjoy.
When Doris was given the diagnosis of aplastic anemia in July, 2017, her first thought was “how can we care for Tom?” who by then was noticeably dealing with Alzheimer’s issues. She was his sole caregiver. It became too much to care adequately for them both so the family made the hard decision to move Tom into a care facility.
It was the hardest day of their lives. He moved in during mid September and stepped into Jesus’ arms in November. Though Doris was given a diagnosis of “months,” she hung on stoically, determinedly, until January, 2020. In the end she was eagerly longing for heaven and Jesus’ arms.
One of the last things a parent can do for their child is to show them how to die. We prepare for that here and now in the relational and maturity skills we acquire.
Dana said, “Mom taught us in the way she lived and in the way she approached death. She never complained about the disease or what she had to endure. She showed us how to suffer well with relational joy to the end.”
That comes from a joy filled life of appreciation, a life that has yielded self and learned to be controlled by Father God the Holy Spirit.
“A mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6
