News Staff
Wednesday, April 6, 2022
The philosopher John Stuart Mill claimed that we should act in such a way as to maximize happiness (and minimize pain and suffering), and not just our own, but the pleasure and pain of everyone who might be affected by our actions. This means that we should try to predict the effects of our actions ahead of time, and to count ourselves in the equation, but not count ourselves any more than we count others. At times we may have to sacrifice our own happiness if we know that doing so will enhance the happiness of others or spare them pain. A similar type of calculation is often done in relationships, when we ask ourselves if we are getting as much out of the relationship as we are putting into it, or if the other person is contributing as much as we are. The idea that in love we shouldn’t be tallying up costs and benefits is romantic, and perhaps ideally, we shouldn’t, but it’s tempting to agree with the founder of Utilitarianism, Jeremy Bentham, when he said that “Men calculate, some with less exactness, indeed, some with more; but all men calculate.” The fact that we all calculate may simply reflect that we all have an innate sense of fairness. We all know the feeling of being taken advantage of, when we feel that we put in more than others or received less. But perhaps we should try to calculate less, or at least feel good about putting in more and receiving less. For it is in giving that we receive, and those who give the most of themselves are invariably the happiest. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4 NIV
